I have noticed that when I gave up on anything to do with physical and/or emotional attatchments due to a painful situation that happened, something special found me and now I have two people who truly care about me. It's funny really, I spent my entire life searching for someplace to belong... for people who would/could love and accept me for who and what I am and never seemed to find any of it. Yet as soon as I gave up on finding the things I've needed for so long, they found me instead. There are two special people in my life who see me as I really am. Faults, issues and all and still care, I finally belong. No place to call home as of yet still but I am saving my money the best I can and hopefully I will be able to get an apartment soon. I've given up on all those who gave up on me and from now on I am looking to the future, living in the present and enjoying the pleasures and joys offered to me as they come. It may have been a long road to get to where I am now, but I am finally re-learning to be assertive, make decisions and I am even working on my trust issues with the help of my friends. By no means are all of my problems/issues better, but I am getting there and I am learning (sometimes without really wanting to) to stop hiding from things that scare me or hurt me, but to stand up and take whatever stress and/or beatings (figuritively speaking as per the beatings) that life keeps throwing at me. Sometimes I just need someone to grab me by the hair and refuse to let me crawl under a table to hide. (You know who you are and thank you )